


Wash In The Water, Wash Me Clean

by IneffableTrajectory



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Self-Worth Issues, Shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:08:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23167504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableTrajectory/pseuds/IneffableTrajectory
Summary: But right now? Right now he's only focused on how good the lavender smells as the steam rises from the tub he's sharing with his boyfriend. How the glitter from the bathbomb will be stuck to everything forever....
Relationships: Paul Coates & Alec Hardy, Paul Coates/Alec Hardy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Wash In The Water, Wash Me Clean

**Author's Note:**

> Implied homophobia from Tess as a flashback, because she's a B. 
> 
> Also, I'm sorry this is so long. I apparently don't know how to write short stories. 
> 
> My bad..
> 
> Oh, and the poem at the end is by William Butler Yeats.

Prior to this one perfect moment, whenever Alec Hardy thought about water, he thought of the way it smelled when it sat too long, when it hovered unmoving within its shallow banks. He thought of the waterlogged corpse of a child as he'd held her desperately and protectively to his chest, hoping she wouldn't slip away or fall apart before he could struggle them back to shore, back to safety. He thought of death and how close he'd come to it as brackish water filled his nose, mouth and lungs. How he'd choked and gagged and wrecked his heart for good with it.

But right now? Right now he's only focused on how good the lavender smells as the steam rises from the tub he's sharing with his boyfriend. How the glitter from the bathbomb will be stuck to everything forever and how the added bubbles do little to cover their manhood as they bob like buoys on the surface each time one or the other of them shifts in the oversize tub. Right now, he's focused on how that same boyfriend is currently sat across from him, alternating between rubbing circles in his tired feet and planting kisses on the soles of them, occasionally taking one or two of his toes into his mouth and sucking gently at them. 

It's the most erotic thing he's ever seen, so pure and caring that he doesn't even want to ruin it by speaking. He lets out a sigh and just as he lays back to sink deeper into the tub, Paul does the honor of breaking the silence in the small, misty space. "Can I....can I wash your hair?" Paul says in a hurry, as though if he stops, he may never speak again, and he can see the heat of embarassment that spreads from Alec's ears all the way down his neck and chest. He knows Alec has a hard time letting go and being cared cared for, and this is probably the most intimate thing apart from actual sex he's ever asked of him.

Alec catches himself gaping slack jawed at the man, and then decides all at once yes, emphatically yes he would *fucking love* for this beautiful, handsome, intelligent man that loves him for some unknown reason, to wash his hair. "Aye!" He manages to croak out awkwardly as he scrambles to turn and slot himself between Paul's thick, muscular thighs. He doesn't even have time to see the look of shock that flashes across Paul's face as he agrees. At 6'1 and seemingly all limbs, arranging himself is easier said than done, but after much splashing and sloshing, slipping and sliding, Alec manages to do just that. He sits awkward and silent for what feels like almost a moment too long, shoulder's slightly hunched in their typical defensive posture. His brain is scrambling to put the clues together, to solve the case. Scrambling to discern what to do next. Should he lie back, or stay upright? Will he crush Paul between himself and the tub or make him uncomfortable if he does lie back? If he stays upright, surely he'll get soap in his eyes...All of his thoughts are silenced as Paul slowly brings a hand around Alec's front, presses gently against his chest and whispers as he plays his fingers over Alec's peaked nipple "lie back then, I'll get started...." and Alec immediately melts down into his open arms.

Paul turns on the water, adjusts the temperature and slowly brings the shower head up over Alec's stomach and chest so he can get acclimated to the temperature and the feel. He knows of the other man's tentative relationship with water and wants this to be relaxing, so he's cautious not to overwhelm him with the force of it. Alec sighs contentedly and settles further into Paul's embrace and Paul takes that as a sign that it's ok to move on and wet his hair. As soon as the water and Paul's fingers reach his scalp, Alec let's out a moan that, under any other circumstances, would be horribly embarrassing, but in this context it only serves to spur Paul on. 

"Is that nice, love?" he whispers against the shell of Alec's ear, taking a moment to nuzzle and nip at the soft flesh just behind it. His question is met with another low groan that Paul interprets as a "yes", so he places the shower head back in its holder and reaches for the lavender mint shampoo on the shelf by the tub. He pumps a generous portion into his hand and begins massaging it into Alec's hair. He rubs with the pads of his fingers, then scrapes gently along his scalp, then massages his neck and temples before working some of the foam into Alec's scruffy beard. It's fuller and longer than Paul has ever seen it and he loves getting his hands into it whenever he can. He scrubs his fingernails around and tugs gently at the coarse, dense hair, noting that Alec has begun to breathe deeper. He glances between Alec's legs and also notes that he can see more of his cock bobbing on the surface of the water now. With a mischievous smile that he's sure Alec can feel on the side of his own face, and his eyes glued to the water in front of them, Paul gives another tug at Alec's beard, and has to stifle a moan when Alec's cock once again bobs well above the surface of the water. He can see that his foreskin has begun to retract as he gets closer to full hardness and 'Oh, that is quite interesting,' Paul thinks to himself. 

Paul reaches for the shower head again and begins to rinse Alec's hair, being careful once more not to pour water over his face or ears. He returns the shower head when all the bubbles have stopped forming in Alec's hair, finds conditioner and starts the process all over again. Alec's breathing has become much more intense and he can feel him getting restless and shifting between his legs, the friction against Alec's lower back a welcome thing against his own throbbing cock. Paul massages his scalp again, this time experimenting with pulling his hair a bit as he works the conditioner in. Alec's jaw is hanging slack now and he is trembling ever so slightly. Paul slides his hands down and rubs conditioner into his beard, tugging gently, then scratching lightly. Tugging, scratching, tugging scratching. 

"Ngk, darling, if you keep doing that much longer, I'm going to ruin the bath for us" Alec says, voice low and gravelly. Paul chuckles softly and begins to gently rinse the conditioner away. When he's finished, he turns the water off and returns the shower head to its place on the faucet. He wraps his arms around Alec and nuzzles into his neck again. "I don't mind if you do, ya know," he whispers into the nape of his neck, delighting at the shiver that runs through Alec at the implication. 

Paul begins gently dragging his fingers up and down Alec's sides and chest and stomach, inching closer and closer to his groin with each pass. "Please, darlin'. Please..." Alec whispers as he places his feet on the edge of the tub and opens his knees, arching his back as he waits eagerly for Paul to finally touch him. Paul hums in approval at the scene before him, the way Alec has already gone into a submissive posture, opening himself up and presenting the most intimate parts of himself for Paul's gentle taking.

"Please what, beloved?" Paul whispers into Alec's hair as he pinches and tugs both of his nipples in tandem. "Ngk, you *know what*. " Alec whines with just a hint of impertinence. Paul ceases his ministrations and steadies himself, noting how he's shaking from his own desire. "We've talked about this, remember? How it's *okay* to ask for what you want? I'm not them. I'm not *her*," he says emphatically, reffering to Tess. "I'm never going to make fun of you for having needs, or *wants*. So, what would *you* like me to do, love?". Alec closes his eyes, sighs heavily and begins speaking quickly, his thick Scottish burr punctuating his nervousness. "I....I want you to fuck me. While I'm on my knees, I want you to bend me over the edge of the tub and fuck me until I scream and come in your beautiful, soft, strong hand." Paul inhaled deeply against Alec's damp neck, unused to hearing him speak so frankly of his desires. He then bit down suddenly on the muscle where neck and shoulder meet, causing Alec to cry out and grasp Paul's thighs where they sat on either side on him. 

"Get on your knees and bend over, gorgeous," Paul growled in a predatory tone, "I'm going to fuck that tight little arse of yours so hard, but you'll still beg for more, won't you? Because you can't get enough of me, can you?" Alec had scrambled up to the edge of the tub and was once again presenting himself for Paul's taking, glancing back over his shoulder with his mouth slightly open, breathing heavily and waiting. Paul grazed his hands along Alec's thighs as he spoke from behind him: "You know, I don't know which of your pretty pink holes I want to fuck first, love. I want to stretch you out and fill you, but I also want to feel myself in your hot mouth. I love the way I feel sliding across your lips.." Alec had a relatively thin upper lip, but his lower lip was like a pouty, padded cock rest and Paul would never get enough of it. 

"What do you want, pet?" "Please!" Alec begged, "Please fuck my arse, darlin', please. I'm yours, just take me, please!" he cried out as he pushed his knees open as far as they'd go against the sides of the tub and reached back to spread himself open, hoping his offering was good enough for Paul. As if Paul was reading his thoughts, he was suddenly upon him, nipping and sucking at his well toned glutes, gripping the fronts of his thighs and inhaling and exhaling heavily through his nose as he got closer to Alec's cleft. "You're so gorgeous beloved, so perfect for me." He whispered against the flesh just below Alec's tight ring of muscle. "Look at you, so eager to please me, you're trying so hard you're trembling. So, so good for me my beautiful lover. You just want to please me, don't you?" "Yes, darling, yes, that's all I want, I want you to be satisfied with me. I want my body to be everything yours needs. I want to please you." 

"Ohhh, darling, you do. You *do*" Paul said as he began laving his tongue between Alec's cheeks, across his hole and back again. Alec cried out and tightened his grip on his own arse as Paul breached him with his tongue. Paul hummed and inhaled against him as he worked him open slowly. Once he was satisfied with his work, Paul sat up, leaned over Alec's back and whispered "open a bit more for me, sweet," as he deftly slid three fingers into Alec's slackened mouth. Alec swirled his tongue around them, taking no time getting used to the fullness Paul's finger's created. He sucked and bit gently, beginning to drool and choke a bit as Paul picked up his pace. "Good boy," Paul said as he pulled his fingers away slowly. "Do you think you got them slick enough, pet? Do you think I should check and see how well you did?" 

"YES," Alec gasped. Paul slid his hand down and hit his target with two agile fingers, not giving Hardy any time to react before he started speaking again, this time running his hand through Alec's hair and tugging gently as he did so. "Ohhh, you did. You good, good boy. You made it *so* easy for me to make you feel special, didn't you? You deserve a reward for that.." and suddenly a third finger was joining the first two, curling and twisting, hitting Alec's core with a practised ease that made Alec want to weep with gratitide.

When had he ever been known so thoroughly? 

*Tess had shamed and mocked him when he worked up the courage to tell her early on in their marriage that he liked anal play during sex. She tried to act shy and inexperienced in such matters so she could refuse him, but she couldn't hide the disgust in her eyes. It was one night a few weeks later that she found his one toy he kept hidden in his bedside drawer, and she came unglued, shouting homophobic slurs at him and spitting hateful names and accusations in his face. She threw it away and stormed out of their flat and he locked himself in the bathroom, drew his bony knees to his chest and wept silently in the shower that night. He eventually pulled himself together, convinced himself that she was right, and never pleasured himself that way ever again, even without her there. She'd managed to do so much damage in one night that even his required "turn your head and cough" physical for the police force left him in near hysterics afterwards for years. She'd bought him a "more masculine" pocket-pussy but he never even took it out of it's packaging. It only made him angry to look at it. Eventually their joint sex life became non-existent and he gave up on sexuality all together, unable to even find relief in masturbation anymore. It wasn't until sweet, beautiful Paul came along and turned his entire fucking world on it's side that he began to pay any more than cursory, necessary attention to that part of his anatomy again.

Paul had listened to him as he weepily, grudgingly unpacked the trauma of that encounter and then he had encouraged Alec to take time to get to know himself again before they went any further together. "You will always be your first and best lover, darling. If you don't know what you like, how can anyone else be expected to know?" he'd said as he gently held Alec's shaking hands in his, rubbing gentle circles over knobby, lace thin knuckles. The next evening, after their dinner date at Alec's, Paul pressed a small bag into his hands and placed a gentle kiss to his temple. "Whenever you're ready, darling. I'll see you on the weekend." he'd said as he turned and left him standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Alec wept again when he opened the bag later, but this time it was overwhelming tears of relief and gratitude. Inside was a bottle of lubricant, a moderately sized vibrating dildo, and a set of four beautiful, gratuated anal plugs. He could feel himself reddening as he read the note in Paul's handwritingthat jist said "HAVE FUN!" in all caps. Even as appreciative as he was to receive the gift, it was several weeks before he could actually think about using any of it without working himself into a state of panic. 

He got home from the office one afternoon, poured himself a glass of wine (thank you, pacemaker) rinsed off in the shower, and then sunk gratefully into a steaming lavender bath. He'd downed most of the wine by the time he gathered the courage to snake his hand between his legs and give his balls a gentle squeeze. Shame flooded him as he saw Tess' disgusted face in his head and he drew his hand back as though he'd been burned, splashing water all of the floor and knocking over his wineglass. He had to wait until he dried off and lay in the safety of a bed they'd never shared before trying again. He rolled on his back and palmed himself awkwardly through his flannel pajama pants, biting the back of his other hand to keep from crying out. He was so touch-starved and sensitive from years of neglect that he knew the toys were off the table for the evening. He pictured Paul's face and came within seconds, shaking and gasping and so relieved he couldn't even be embarrassed by his lack of stamina. He'd slept only in his t-shirt that night, entirely too sensitive to have anything heavier than the bedsheet against his skin. For the first time in years, he slept without dreaming of the water.*

And now, here he was, just six months later, legs spread wide, his full self on display just above the water's edge, trembling as Paul rewarded him for doing something *right*. He grinned to himself and pushed back into his boyfriend's hand (surely, surely this all *had to* be a dream. *His.* *Boyfriend.* He had done nothing to deserve unearthing this priceless treasure. Nothing.) and smiled again at the sound Paul made in response. As if he'd been waiting for a sign, Paul slipped his fingers out of Alec's body and lined himself up at his entrance. "Ready, love?" he asked as he placed a reverent kiss between Alec's beautifully defined shoulder blades. 'If he were an angel, this is where his wings would be. ' he thought to himself. "Aye." growled Alec.

In one fluid motion, Paul lined up and slid in until he bottomed out, Alec's body taking him in easily now. They moaned in unison, one at the fullness, the other at the tightness, then began their feverish quest for completion in earnest. Paul reached around and made a snug fist around Alec's cock with one hand while the other tugged at his beard and hair; Alec put one arm behind him to hold Paul closer and braced himself against the edge of the tub with the other. Alec could feel himself getting closer to the edge as Paul sucked bruises into his neck and back and shoulders, and he knew from the way Paul's hips were stuttering that he wouldn't last long either.

Alec slid his hand down to squeeze Paul's arse gently and whispered "let go and come for me, darlin', fill me up. *Please*'. Paul shuddered and thrust into Alec twice more before crying out and coming hard and Alec was only a beat behind him. He tipped over the edge with a cry of his own as he felt Paul's heat beginning to slick his thighs and he continued rutting into Paul's fist until he was overstimulated and spent. 

They both lay there for a moment, propped against the back of the tub and breathing heavily. "Goodness, DI, you look like you could use a shower," Paul said cheekily against the flushed skin of Alec's back. "Aye, and who's fault is that now, *Vicar*," he replied, all delight and no venom.

Later, after they'd showered off and snuggled up in Alec's cozy full size bed (a sure enough sign that he'd resolved himself to a life of trauma-induced abstinence and solitude; why have a big bed when there's only one of you to use it?) Paul held Alec close and pressed kisses into his hair and onto the side of his fave and wherever else he could reach. He whispered how wonderdul he was, how caring, how he deserved to have good things in his life. He told him he was worthy of love and attention and affection, and what's more, he didn't have to *work* to *earn it*. It was Paul's own to give as he saw fit, and by God he saw fit to weave it all together and clothe Alec in it. 

As Alec drifted off, he smiled sleepily as he heard Paul recite a poem that held meaning for both of them:

*Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,  
Enwrought with golden and silver light,  
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths  
Of night and light and the half light,  
I would spread the cloths under your feet:  
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;  
I have spread my dreams under your feet;  
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.*

And that night, his own dreams tread lightly through his mind; dreams of a future filled with Paul's love and warmth and acceptance. And once more, he slept without dreaming of the water.

*Fin*


End file.
